Second Life (SL) vs. Real Life (RL)

Earlier, I mentioned David Churbuck's take on SL in the previous post. One of his commenters, Uncle Fester, has the most hysterical comment. I am compelled to reproduce it here for your enjoyment:

"AMEN BROTHER CLUTTERBUCK!

I soured on SL when my avatar, Lady Godiva, a pop singer in her mid-50s with a 30 year career, tried to adopt a little purple baby hog from Hog Island, a desolate, poor, crime infested island on the outskirts of SL. Hog Island’s ruler has siphoned off all the money, leaving a cesspool of starving hogs trying to eke a meager existance from digital sand.

My adoption did not go well. The SL press promptly held a luao on my perfectly formed butt claiming I was adopting the hog for publicity purposes. I went on the SL show “Opal” to give my side of the story but unfortunately, I got lost walking under water and no one could understand my flailing underwater arm gestures as a cry for help and instead thought I was signing in an obscure SL language and I was misinterpreted as saying, “this little purple hog will make a delicious addition to my kitchen.” The fallout was ugly.

Thak goodness I can stay in a Starwood hotel, buy a Dell computer, have sex with all sorts of animals, vegatables, and minerals, and, create my own islands. Of course, the point is something that seems to be missing. After all, just because I can’t own an island, a private jet, or a yacht in real life (RL), doesn’t mean I can’t create that fantasy while having virtual sex with a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a purple hog.

“Quick,” cries PT Barnum, “this way to the Great Egress! See it now, in all its glory! Hurry, step right up, the Great Egress is just right there!!”

I leave you with this bedtime story:

I had a virtual pet once. The little key fob that chirped for food or sleep or love. Like a British nanny, I shook it and shook it and shook it. It stopped chirping. It was no longer hungry or thirsty or in need of affection so I through it under the subway and the circuit boards crushed nicely under the steel wheels. It was more satisfying than SL. The end. "